The Sarnia Journal has partnered with local photographer Art Connolly to feature his captivating “Humans of Sarnia” series as he delves into the lives and experiences of everyday people in Sarnia.
Content Warning: Sexual assault, pregnancy loss
A Story of Strength: Coleen's Journey to Resilience
Life began with a twist of fate for Coleen Tulen, who was born in Tilbury, Ontario, and adopted at just nine months old. Her earliest memories are intertwined with both loss and love. When Tulen was only three, tragedy struck as her adoptive father was killed in a car accident. Despite this heartbreaking start, her life was soon touched by another kind of love—her mother’s remarriage to a man Tulen describes as “wonderful.” This man chose not only to be her stepfather but to legally adopt her when she was seven. “He didn’t want me feeling like I was anything less than his,” Tulen recalls with a warmth that speaks volumes about their bond.
Though her childhood was shaped by these events, Tulen’s story is one of resilience. She maintains a good relationship with her biological parents, whom she has met as an adult. It’s clear that her journey has been one of navigating complex relationships with grace and strength. However, her path was not without its challenges.
A Life-Changing Incident
At just 16 years old, Tulen’s life took a devastating turn. A typical teenage party turned into a nightmare when she drank too much, lost consciousness, and woke up to a horrifying reality. She found herself on a bed, her arms and legs pinned down as she was sexually assaulted by six young men who had also been at the party.
“It was a different time then,”Tulen explains, referring to why she never reported the assault. Fear of shame, embarrassment, and victim-blaming kept her silent. “I didn’t want to feel like the guilty one,” she says. Her words highlight a heartbreaking reality for many survivors who navigate the stigma and fear associated with coming forward.
Struggling with the Aftermath
The trauma of the assault rippled through Tulen’s life in countless ways. Raised Roman Catholic, she found herself unable to turn to her faith for solace. The very act of attending mass became unbearable, as she often saw the families of her attackers in the congregation. Unable to reconcile her pain within her religious community, Tulen eventually left Tilbury, seeking a fresh start in Sarnia, a place she now calls home.
But the pain followed her. Tulen describes how she began “heading down not a great path,” resorting to self-medication to numb her emotions. The weight of unprocessed trauma affected her deeply, leading to a series of personal losses and struggles. Over the years, she endured the heartbreak of eight miscarriages and the dissolution of three marriages. “I felt not worth being happy,” she admits, revealing the profound impact of her early experiences.
A Turning Point
Despite the hardships, Tulen’s story is ultimately one of hope and transformation. Determined to break free from the shadows of her past, she sought help through Family Services. The counselling process was far from easy. “It’s difficult,” she acknowledges, “but the counsellors are able to guide a person through the counselling that is needed without any judgment.” With their support, Tulen began to confront her pain and rebuild her life.
Today, Tulen shares her story not as a victim but as a survivor and advocate. Her message to others who have endured similar trauma is both practical and empowering: “Deal with it however you must deal with it. Don’t bottle it in, and don’t let it define you.” She believes in the power of seeking help and emphasizes that while we cannot control others’ actions, we do have control over how we respond to them.
Breaking the Silence
Tulen’s courage in speaking out is particularly significant given the broader context of sexual violence in Canada. According to the Ontario Coalition of Rape Centres, there were 34,242 police-reported sexual assaults in 2021. Despite these numbers, sexual assault remains the least reported violent crime, with only 6% of incidents in 2019 coming to the attention of police. These statistics underscore the barriers that many survivors face, from fear of judgment to systemic challenges within the justice system.
Tulen’s decision to share her story is a powerful step toward breaking the silence that surrounds sexual violence. By speaking openly about her experiences, she not only empowers herself but also inspires others to seek help and find their voices.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
One of the most striking aspects of Tulen’s journey is her ability to find strength in vulnerability. By seeking counselling and confronting her pain, she has shown that healing is possible, even in the face of profound trauma. Her story serves as a reminder that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous act of self-care.
Tulen’s resilience extends beyond her own healing. Through her openness, she offers a beacon of hope to others who may be struggling in silence. Her message is clear: help is out there, and no one must face their pain alone.
A Call to Action
As a community, we can learn from Tulen’s story. Supporting survivors of sexual violence requires compassion, understanding, and a commitment to breaking down the barriers that prevent so many from seeking help. Whether through advocacy, education, or simply listening without judgment, we all have a role to play in creating a safer, more supportive environment for survivors.
Tulen’s journey is a testament to the power of resilience, the importance of seeking help, and the strength that comes from sharing one’s story. By opening up about her experiences, she has not only reclaimed her narrative but also paved the way for others to do the same. Her courage reminds us that while we cannot change the past, we have the power to shape our futures—and that no one is ever truly alone in their journey toward healing.
“Humans of Sarnia” founder Art Connolly is a man fuelled by curiosity and a passion for connecting with people in Sarnia. Inspired by the renowned “Humans of New York” series, with a camera in hand, he captures the very essence of the individuals he encounters, preserving their stories through his lens